2017 is a precursor year for us. It’s full of preparatory steps – waiting on permanent residency status. Visas. Being engaged (I know – have I mentioned it yet? Shoved my diamond in your face? The excitement still hasn’t worn off), which is inherently a preparatory statement. Not settling in for the long haul. Being apart for a while. Planning (and saving for) a wedding, or two.
There’s many many hard things coming up. I find myself awake at night, stressing about the many iterations the paths might take. Even more, I find myself awake at night, stressing about how it will be hard. Just hard. Just a lot of hard hard things, requiring a lot of gutsing through and not giving up and commitment and stress and bashing into the brick wall of hard every day, over and over and over.
And that’s okay. I’ve done hard. I believe in hard. I also know hard is relative – and while I sometimes think my current life is hard (you know, get up, go to the gym, go to work, complain, repeat – wow, I’m a hero), I know it’s about to get a lot harder. I just wanted to acknowledge to myself that it’s okay that it’s going to be hard and I’m going to be scared. I’m going to want to rewind five years. And then I’m going to put on my brave pants and face the day and say a grateful word and start again.