[RECAP] The Farmer Wants A Wife Episode Two

So last night’s episode was a massive snoozefest. Here are my general takeaways:

  • Going to a guy’s farm for a sleepover with four other women is super weird.
  • All of Lachlan’s girls look the same.
  • Jedd’s face when the girls were taking off their clothes and revealing their bathers looked a little like this:
black-guy-meme-face-19

Omg boobies.

  • Adam birthing that cow was actually the most amazing adorable thing I’ve ever seen. I want a baby calf and to feed it milk and hug it and never let it go

    tumblr_lvhuuq55n71qhoyau

    SO AMAZING ❤

  • All of the women dating Lance are incredible. I’m so grateful that they gave up their dignity and any chance of having a normal relationship with their grandchildren in exchange for entertaining me on Monday night and hanging out with a guy who only seems to wear one shirt:
  • lance1

    When you look this good, you don’t need to buy new shirts. Apparently.

  • Oyster farming looks like a career I could get into post-law if I just got to eat oysters all day and not do any work.
  • LOL at the girl who told Jedd she hates seafood! Okay. Go home honey. Jedd cannot handle change or disruption in his life.
  • Farmer Bald&Beard has obviously picked his woman, and the others are soooooooo jealous I love it. ‘OMG we already ate dinner while you guys were rolling in the hay, too bad can’t have any leftovers I’m going to bed to think about how sad I am that this guy whose HOUSE I’M IN, because I’m INSANE, likes one of the OTHER women, but I’m not going home without a fight because I don’t believe in self respect *tears* *anger* *gazes at moon in despair*.’
  • One of Adorable Adam’s girls got cow poo on her face. I don’t know which one, because two of them are actually identical twins. He obviously has a thing for brunettes with unnecessarily skinny legs.
  • Farmer Matt is legit frothing over this 22 year old who apparently has managed to be ‘unlucky in love’ despite not actually having realised she is not a fully formed adult yet. Also, I really appreciate the lies she’s telling about the city and how much she wants to live in the PILBARA. Are you SERIOUS. It’s BORING AS FUCK UP THERE, and anyway, the only way you’ll get to do any environmental law is if you act for the miners whose primary goal is to systematically destroy all semblance of environment we have left because money is awesome.

To be honest, that’s all I had because I had way more fun gossiping about random people I don’t know with my fellow viewers than watching this. Hopefully next week is more exciting. I want some Farmer Drama and I want it now.

And to leave with you a parting thought: seriously, how many of the farmers sleep with all of the women? I mean. They’re in their house. It has to happen.

Until next time.

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